*NEW* Snakeskin | Sometimes We Hold On to What We Must Release

Snakeskin. This poem compares a snake shedding its skin, to letting go of people, places, and situations that no longer serve you.

Join me as we look deeper into this topic and discover new uplifting points of view.

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*All Poetry featured are original works by Lauren McNeil, not to be duplicated or re-purposed without prior consent.*

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Transcript

Lauren M

What makes leaving hard is because if you're in a toxic relationship, nine out of ten times your self esteem is low or non existent.  And because of that, you have a hard time believing that there's anything better, right? We're settling for what we feel like we deserve, or we're afraid to branch out because what if this is all there is? 
That is a complete lie.

To all the new listeners, welcome to So Real Poetry. I am the poet known as Lauren. And to all returning listeners, welcome back fam! Let's hop into this week's poem. 

I used to say there was a thin line between love and hate.

Now I see my mistake.

There's a thick line between

generational patterns, lust, and dysfunction. 

We normalize this junction,

but fighting isn't a function of a healthy relationship. 

I'm not talking about the occasional misunderstanding.

I'm referring to the breaking of doors,

name-calling, violence, gaslighting, blaming,

the same thing over and over again. 

We're taught When you fall deeply in love,

you don't abandon that person. 

Through trials and tribulation, 

you remain. No litigation.  Enduring.

Because love is supposed to come with a little pain.

This is a lie. 

Meant to keep you bound, trying to fix them. 

By betraying you.

 Shoving down what you know 

you should really do. 

Holes in the wall.

Making excuses for the falls.

Kids scared to mention any of this at all. 

You explain it all away.  

But it's time to evolve. 

They won't change, and neither will you. 

It's toxic, and you're no fool. 

You know exactly what to do.  

The courage to walk. 

The bravery to go.  

Who cares what people think?

They can't walk a mile

 in your toes.  

They don't contribute to your plate. 

They can't define your fate.

You staying miserable 

cause you're scared to re-date?  

The real problem is running away

from your own mistakes. 

You deserve better, 

and you know I'm right. 

How can this be love 

when it's devoid of light? 

Hanging on to every hug. 

I know the sex is right. 

But you and I both know

it's not enough to pay this price.  

Look deep within and 

inside you'll find the love 

you crave from without.  

But first it's time to shed

what no longer serves you. 

The phoenix rising in your purview, 

snakeskin. 

So this poem was the culmination of basically every romantic relationship I've ever had. It took me a while to realize what toxicity was. When you grow up in a dysfunctional household, dysfunctional family dynamics, Sometimes it takes a while for you to realize what that really even is. And so I found myself getting in the same abusive type relationships, whether it be verbal, physical, mental, emotional, just the same abusive scenarios over and over again with different people.

And I finally took a minute to realize, wait a minute. I'm the common denominator here. So, whatever this is, not saying that any of the abuse I endured was my fault, but simply recognizing that I have control over who I allow in my life. And what people are doing to me is the result of me allowing them. 

So I had to take a moment and really take my power back. And that's kind of where Snake Skin was born. One of the biggest lessons that I learned in these toxic relationships was the courage to go. That's, that's one of my favorite lines in the poem, is the courage to go. Because, That's one of the hardest things.

What makes leaving hard is because if you're in a toxic relationship, nine out of ten times your self-esteem is low or non-existent.  And because of that, you have a hard time believing that there's anything better, right? We're settling for what we feel like we deserve, or we're afraid to branch out because what if this is all there is? 

That is a complete lie. And the minute that you can overcome that response from your ego, the minute that you recognize that's my fear talking, that's generational patterns before me talking, that's everything I've seen talking, it's almost like you have to have faith in something that you've never seen, that you've never, you know, known personally to exist and that's real love and it's difficult to garner that level of faith when you've never seen it but that's why it's called faith.

Faith is having trust in something not seen. Faith is believing through the fear. I didn't know it at the time, but every one of those relationships was bringing me closer to revealing the real me. But every time that I left a relationship, I had to shed some skin. I changed a little bit, a little bit.

Each, with each one, I changed a little bit. Whether that be, I picked up some more toxic coping habits, or I grew a little bit. But I always changed with every toxic relationship that I left. And so I bought a book that was recommended to me by a librarian. It's called Animal Speak by Andrew, Ted Andrews. I highly recommend all his books if you're a spiritual seeker of any kind.

But this book is about animal totems and it talks about the history of each animal according to different cultures around the world and what they could generally symbolize for you. Now when you're looking at the book, you obviously have to take what resonates within you to your situation. In this book, he talks extensively about snakes and one part that really stood out to me is where he talks about the snakes shedding their skin and he talks about their eyes turning cloudy and how they don't really know what that means.

But different cultures think that it represents the snake going through the void. That really resonated with me because Every time I shed some skin with the culmination of this last relationship, which I feel like really was the one that really made me wake up to my own worth, where I, realized like, I deserve so much better.

And I started to really look at myself differently. There's a void period when you leave these relationships where it's a very, to me, for me, I can only speak from my personal experience, but it's a lonely period.  It feels lonely. It feels like no one really understands. You can't talk to anybody about what you're going through spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, none of it.

And to me, when you're shedding your skin, That's that void period where you just literally all you have is faith. You don't even know what the faith is in. You don't, you don't even really understand the sheer magnitude of the decision that you made. You just knew you had to make it. You knew you deserved better.

You knew this wasn't it. You knew this wasn't healthy. You, you made a decision for you. You made a decision for your kids. You made a decision for any other reason, whatever the reason was, you finally made a decision, that you weren't exactly 100 percent sure on, but you stood up, you stood up on faith and you left.

That is the beginning of you shedding your skin and becoming a new thing, a new being. I don't want to say a new person because that really minimizes what's actually happening. You, you are literally transforming. I want you to think about the phoenix rising. That's the beginning of you discovering your inner phoenix.

And it's dark and it's lonely sometimes. But what you have to know is that a divine change is literally birthing inside of you, similar to the snake shedding its skin. And so, every time that the snake sheds its skin, it's because it's outgrown its old skin. It's literally getting bigger, it's getting different, more vibrant colors.

It's actually changing like a metamorphosis. And so, Snake Skin felt like the perfect name for this poem, because, A snake shedding its skin is exactly what it's like to walk away from a toxic relationship.  

Now, I know I'm gonna edit this out maybe, but I literally had to walk away because my cat and my dog were getting into it and banging stuff around. Like, I don't know who's listening to this, which one of you really needs to hear this message or this poem today. 

But, your guides want me to let you know, like, it's real. If you need the strength, or you need validation to know that you did the right thing, here it is, baby. This is it. This is it. This was the right decision.

You're on the right path, okay? Because there have been so many distractions since I started recording this, which is wild. 

Anyway, so my creative process for creating this poem is kind of, you're gonna hear me say this a few times with each poem because I literally wrote maybe like 10 poems in like two days because I could not sleep at all and I just kept waking up every every two hours and just spewing out a poem On the notes app of my phone.

So that is my creative process. And I encourage each creative listening out there. Don't judge your process. That's the number one advice that I would have for you. Do not judge your process. Every artist's process looks different. Sometimes we compare ourselves. A lot of times we compare ourselves to other people because of social media.

And it's kind of like a, look at me, look at me grab. But the reality is that everyone's journey is very personal. And the way that source communicates their creative artistry through each person is going to be different. And so honor that. Some days I'll write 10 poems and then for two weeks, nothing because I'm exhausted or tired or going through something spiritually.

And just on another note, like creativity, spirituality. And all of those things, they kind of come together. So the more that you can clear your mind, the more you'll, you'll enter that flow period where you can just create freely. And so we'll talk about that in some later podcasts about ways that I clear my mind.

So let's talk about the journal prompt for this week, the optional journal prompt, if you want to go further into this poem, if it really resonated with you. So, I was really thinking about this journal prompt and I decided on,  

Let's reflect on a time where you had to let something go that no longer served you, How did it feel?  Why did you do it?  And how have you changed since letting this go? 

Thank you so much for vibing out with me this week. It has truly been my pleasure.

If this poem resonated with you and you want to tell me how you feel, please drop me a comment.

I love your comments, and if you just need more So Real Poetry in your life, you can find me on Instagram or YouTube at So_Real_Poetry. 

As always, take care of yourselves, and I'll see you next Sunday for more Poetry Gold because it's So Real Poetry. 

*All Poetry featured are original works by Lauren McNeil, not to be duplicated or re-purposed without prior consent.*