So Real Sundays
So Real Sundays
*NEW* Happy Birthday Olivia | Kids Don't Care about Money, Only Memories
Money-wise... I couldn't fly her to Paris (yet), so I memorialized her awesomeness in a poem!
Enjoy!
*All Poetry featured are original works by Lauren McNeil, not to be duplicated or re-purposed without prior consent.*
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Lauren M
I'm crying because I didn't know that, that, I was actually gonna have that relationship with her and it's very beautiful and I love her so much.
So much more than I ever thought that I could love, period, because I did not love myself.
To all the new listeners, welcome to So Real Poetry. I am the poet known as Lauren. And to all returning listeners, welcome back fam! Let's hop into this week's poem.
At 13, everything felt so serene.
No one was mean, no bullies.
Everyone was a big happy team.
Middle school was the greatest.
I always had the latest shoes.
Outfit was on point.
I remember having so much fun in that joint.
even my crush–
Alter Ego
Excuse me. That's not your life.
Lauren M
What do you mean?
Alter Ego
I mean, yours had a lot more strife.
Lauren M
Come again?
Alter Ego
Yeah, like when you got suspended for drinking.
Lauren M
Who?
Alter Ego
You! What were you thinking?
Lauren M
Me?
Alter Ego
Yes!
Lauren M
Oh, well, I was thinking this sounds cool. And I'm not a punk. I want to fit in with my friends. I wonder what it's like to get drunk.
Alter Ego
Really?
Lauren M
Yeah. It was a dark time. My unfurling.
Alter Ego
I didn't know.
Lauren M
This poem was supposed to be fun and cheeky.
Alter Ego
Seriously?
Lauren M
Yeah. My kid's birthday is tomorrow. She's 13 and I wanted to give her something early.
Alter Ego
Maybe not this one.
Lauren M
You think?
Alter Ego
Well, Let's look at the bright side.
All those tears you cried,
all the substances and lies,
all the times you wanted to die,
led you to this moment.
Lauren M
Uh huh. I'm still waiting for this bright side you speak of.
Alter Ego
And now, she will never face those opponents.
You've embraced that chapter,
and faced what was sadly misplaced in those factors.
You've transmuted all that diluted your light.
And now, you're saluted.
Cause you created a world she can feel safe in.
She has a relationship with you,
and you can help her through what she's facing.
No longer alone, she admires you.
For the love and care you give.
A queen on her throne.
Through trials and tribulations,
She won't ever face the unknown,
because you will be there.
You built this relationship,
even when no one was there.
Figured out how to parent with no guidance,
no book, no instructions.
Just you.
You didn't even know how to cook.
Was 13 the greatest for you?
Nah, not at all, but what did it bring
was the wisdom to give her a different life.
The greatest gift you could ever give her
was to change your path and embrace the light.
She is a blessing that you can't ever repay.
She taught you more about yourself than you can even mention on this day.
Lauren M
Wow.
I never thought of it like that.
You're right. The future is bright in this new light.
So here's to many laughs. jokes, friends, and more.
Here's to the universe opening
every single door to more financial blessings
than you can even imagine.
To more trips, camping, oceans, and cabins.
To best friends who uplift you and make you smile.
To family who supports you.
Through every trial,
may the universe open up its
doors and bless you with glory,
because there is truly no me
without you in my story.
Happy birthday, Olivia. I love you.
So, I don't usually record the discussion portion when I record the poem. I rarely ever do that, but this is the first time that I'm actually doing that because my daughter's birthday is in a few weeks and I wanted to go ahead and get this poem out. So this poem means so much to me. I feel myself getting teary eyed right now.
Just wow. It has been a journey. Being a single mother has definitely been a journey. And motherhood is one of those things where you don't realize how much it's going to change you. I mean, I can't speak for other people, but my kid is the greatest kid on the planet. And I truly mean that. She is… I don't know, a more loving, thoughtful, sweet, empathetic, creative, and bold spirit on this planet.
She has really shaped who I am as a woman. Having her gave me the strength to continue. I have been through some very dark times in my life. And when I had a kid, it was like, I was kind of dancing with death prior to that. And having a baby really stabilized me because no matter how hard life got, like, leaving willfully wasn't an option.
Like, you know what I mean? I was going to have to get struck down, swallowed up, okay. The universe was going to have to crack the sky and take me to leave her because I'm not leaving her here, willfully. Meaning, I had suicidal ideations for, like, my entire life. existence up until a point because it was, it was just very difficult in my life.
And having her, I'm not saying I didn't… that, that those dark thoughts ever went away, but I knew that they were never going to be justified. I wasn't ever going to follow through with them because this little person. Needed me at least to see her to adulthood and I was gonna do my best. Okay, like Having a kid motivated me to learn how to braid.
I never knew how to braid hair, I've started… and this was back when like, you know YouTube wasn't popping the way it's popping right now and I found this lady Her name was, I don't know what her name was, but I know she had a blog and the blog was called Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care. And I was determined to be able to learn how to braid because I didn't know how to braid.
And so this woman, she had, she adopted this black child and she, you know, learned how to braid hair. She used to do these, like, man, these really intricate styles. But this lady's blog taught me how to braid. And once I had Olivia, I, I knew how to cook like a little bit here and there. Like, because my friends in college had taught me how to like fry chicken my freshman year.
But just being a mother really motivated me to deal with my own stuff. I had health problems I was ignoring before that. I faced that when she was born because I was scared to just pass out. I was having stomach issues that were debilitating. And so, you know, having a baby really forced me to have to deal with my health problems.
And then as she started getting older, I started realizing, Man, I have a lot of childhood dysfunction. Like, I'm, I'm actually quite messed up from trauma and so having her really helped me reparent me and it was all because I wanted to give her a chance. A life I didn't have. Me and my mother were not close.
We were not friends. We probably won't ever be friends, and that's okay. But I knew that, especially when I had a daughter, that I wanted to be friends with her one day. I wanted us to literally be able to be best friends when she was an adult. I knew I needed to be her parent. I knew that, you know, I needed to actually, you know, raise her and instill in her certain things so we couldn't be friend-friends, you know, while she was growing up.
But I always wanted to have that relationship where even if she felt like she really messed up, okay, that she knew she wasn't alone in this world, like, yeah, my mom's gonna be mad, but I'm gonna call and talk to her because she's gonna listen and she loves me and she's gonna give me that advice. From a non-judgmental perspective and I'm crying because I didn't know that, that um, I was actually gonna have that relationship with her and it's very beautiful and I love her so much.
So much more than I ever thought that I could love, period because I did not love myself. And having to reparent myself while parenting her has helped me discover my own Self-love because I'm trying to teach her to love herself. And so like her turning 13 is just wild for me. I literally remember the day she was born and I'm sure every parent does, but I won't, I just won't ever forget it.
And I love her. And so I made this poem because she really loved the grocery store poem that I made with the voice changes that I did. And she thought that was really cool. And so I was like, man, okay, I'm going to make her a poem because You know, I don't know if you guys know this or not, but you know, poetry isn't a lucrative business like, you know, an NFL football player, at least not yet.
But, you know, what I've learned about life is that we put a lot of emphasis on money, but what children remember are memories, how you made them feel, the fun that you had. And I might not be able to take her to Disney World or Universal Studios or fly her to Paris. But what I can do is I can write her a poem that tells her how much I love her.
And so that's what I did And so, you know, we don't have to drag this out. I've already cried, which I did not know was gonna happen on this one, but you know, it's beautiful. It's raw and Wow, yes, so this is completely dedicated to my daughter Olivia. I love her. I love you and I'm so proud of you and you are an amazingly beautiful unique young lady. Wow! She's a teenager y'all Man, I'm just so blown.
So as far as a journal prompt for this one, in honor of the difficult age of 13, the journal prompt is going to be…
Do you remember what you were like at age 13? What were the things that you loved to do as a 13-year-old? How did age 13 impact your life? And what lessons can you take from age 13?
Thank you so much for vibing out with me this week. It has truly been my pleasure.
If this poem resonated with you and you want to tell me how you feel, please drop me a comment. I love your comments.
And if you just need more So Real Poetry in your life, you can find me on Instagram or YouTube at So_Real_Poetry.
As always, take care of yourselves, and I'll see you next Sunday for more Poetry Gold because it's So Real Poetry.
*All Poetry featured are original works by Lauren McNeil, not to be duplicated or re-purposed without prior consent.*
